BONUS: AFC Predictions and a Tampa Bay Lightning Preview
I think this entire edition is just me being humbled by Stanziale, my sports fandom, CapFriendly, Steve Yzerman, and presumably a higher power (you'll see what I mean).
Welcome to what is one of my favorite editions of this newsletter so far (it’s also the 20th one published, can’t believe we made it past week three). Someone else torturing me over the AFC East? Steve Yzerman’s decisions from years ago plaguing my mental health? I mean, this is the good stuff.
In case you’re returning to the newsletter after some time away due to things like America suddenly discovering that it does think Black Lives Matter after all or the crippling pandemic that’s murdering our fellow citizens, welcome back! So good to see you well. How’s your mother? That’s nice.
Before that, Nicky and Tom took a turn commanding this newsletter: Stanziale covered his NFC East predictions and Shea broke down the last decade of the Tampa Bay Lightning coming up short, which will provide you with some good background going into today’s article on that squad’s future.
I talked about why I believe Black Lives Matter.
And we closed out May, before we really realized how bad things are in the world (sort of), with some coverage about how colleges are going to return and some more sports. There’ll be more in this newsletter about potential returns to in-person instruction since BC released its resumption plans this week, but you’ll find that coverage in tomorrow’s newsletter (which is actually coming out tomorrow, unlike this edition which I definitely said was coming out on Friday, then on Saturday, and then I stopped talking when I realized it was going to take a bit longer—I’m not very intelligent. In related news, I promise you we’re back tomorrow I already have Tom’s next article on the New York Rangers and a plan for what I’ll be writing, which is more preparation than I’ve done in at least two months.).
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Alright…let’s get started.
NFL 2020 Season Predictions: The AFC East Has Few, If Any, Redeeming Qualities
By Nicholas Stanziale
[Editor’s Note: To catch up on the NFC predictions Nicky’s made already, click here.]
When I began this journey a short four weeks ago I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out or how good it would be, but I am very proud of how far this has come and I am excited to start the AFC Conference today. Now that I am done gloating and giving myself some props, let finally move on to the AFC [Editor’s Note: Swear to God, he wrote that, I didn’t do that, I know it seems like something I’d do but seriously I didn’t do it, stop looking at me like that.]! In four weeks we will—based on my predictions—see the whole NFL playoff picture and the path to Tampa Bay for Super Bowl LV. If you read the last edition of my predictions, you know that I saved the worst NFC division for last, so I decided to change the order I cover the divisions in up a bit. Today, I will be covering the worst AFC division: the AFC East. This division has been the worst in the conference and—arguably—the league for what seems like about two decades [Editor’s note: There’s one notable exception to this truth, and it isn’t the Jets.]. Finally, when another team—the Bills—is somewhat able to compete with the Patriots, New England disbands their dynasty. Now, the question in the East is will someone other than the Patriots win the division for the first time since the 2008 season and only the fourth time in two decades?
The reigning division champs lost legendary quarterback Tom Brady to the Buccaneers this offseason and Rob Gronkowski soon followed, but you all knew that. New England has been quiet this offseason if you look past those departures and had a very low-key draft weekend. The defense seemingly was ranked top 5 in every imaginable category last season and they did not lose a single key piece on that side of the ball [Editor’s note: Nicky appears to not value Kyle van Noy or rejuvenated Jaime Collins, or Danny Shelton, or Elandon Roberts, or Tim Biggio, and I only made up that last guy, the other ones are real people. In related news, I’ve just fired Nicky and I wish him well in his future ventures.]. It seems as if Jarrett Stidham will be the guy behind center for the Pats and not so shockingly, he may turn some heads this season.
Meanwhile, the Buffalo Bills seem to have the right recipe working as they broke their playoff drought in 2017 and returned to the postseason last year, ultimately coming up a play or two short of winning their first playoff game since 1995. The offense was underwhelming while the defense was the focal point of Sean McDermott’s team, but with the acquisition of Pro Bowl wide receiver Stefon Diggs and the emergence of running back Devon Singletary, the Bills are set up to be the team to beat in the East.
The New York Jets are one of those “meh” teams for me. Sure, maybe they can win 8 games, but hell, they could win 3 games. I’m not high on their roster, but I don’t hate it. One thing is for sure: The biggest headline coming from the Jets will be the future of star safety Jamal Adams.
Finally, the Miami Dolphins are a team with huge upside. They had the most money entering free agency and they were not afraid to use it: They brought in big names like Byron Jones, Emanuel Ogbah, and Kyle van Noy [Editor’s Note: NICKY SUDDENLY RESPECTS KYLE VAN NOY, NOT THAT I NOTICED OR AM CONCERNED.] to shore up their defense. Alongside those moves, Miami had a nice draft, picking up a few project picks, but if those projects pan out, the Dolphins are going to be a very good football team real soon.
Given all of this, let's see if someone can dethrone the Patriots as division champs for the first time in 11 years.
New England Patriots: 8-8 [Editor’s Note: My feelings are f—king hurt. Nicky has been fired again.]
This season will be the first time since 2000 that Tom Brady will not be on the roster and it’s going to be weird to see. But with one of the greatest coaches ever on the sideline, the Patriots are a contender. That was proven when Brady missed the 2008 season with a torn ACL and proceeded to finish that season with a record of 11-5, and in 2016 when he was suspended for deflategate they went 3-1 without him. New England’s potential starter, Jarrett Stidham, led all passers in touchdowns in last year’s preseason contests—it’s just the preseason, but there’s still hope for Pats fans. New England and that dominant defense may still be the favorites to win the division.
Breakdown:
The Pats offseason has been so quiet the biggest news to come out of Foxborough was when Bill Belichick became a dog and still made a draft pick in April. When the season kicks off, I have the Patriots finding themselves trading wins and losses all the way until their bye week. Fun fact, the Patriots are the only team in their division without a Week 11 bye. Speaking of Week 11, that starts the Pats’ most important stretch of the season and one where they’ll need to win a lot of games, according to my predictions. I have them only winning 4 of 7 and, in the end, escaping 2020 with a 8-8 record. After the back-and-forth start to the season, the Patriots will do what most 8-8 teams do: they play inconsistently and never find a streak, winning or losing. Their longest streak is a three game losing streak from Weeks 13-15. Their most important matchups come in Week 4 when they head to Arrowhead to face the defending champs, Week 7 versus the Niners when Jimmy G comes back into town for the first time, and Week 10 when the reigning MVP Lamar Jackson and his squad are scheduled to come to Foxborough. Definitely not the record Pats faithful is used to seeing, and in fact this will be their first season with a record not above .500 since 2000 when they went 5-11 in Bill Belichick’s first season. Who knows, maybe Belichick pulls the most Belichick move ever and tanks, then snags Trevor Lawrence with the first overall selection in the 2021 draft.
Surprise Game:
Death, taxes, and the Patriots losing in Miami. Week 15 is the biggest surprise game that comes for New England. Entering this game they will be coming off a 2 game losing streak, sitting at a 6-7 record. This is a huge game and a must win for the Pats to stay alive and make the playoffs for the 12th straight season. It’ll be a crushing regular season loss when Tua Tagovailoa—I’m assuming he’ll be the starter over Fitzpatrick at this point—out duels Stidham. A crushing loss and one that’ll most likely hold the Patriots out of playoff contention.
[Editor’s Note: Reading this made me feel like I assume this tire felt when Larry McReynolds took a cheese grater to it (scroll to number 11). At least Nicky stayed away from Brian Hoyer coverage. Since I’m a homer, I have the Patriots going 10-6, I don’t think they lose to the Dolphins or the Chargers. I could see them losing the game at NYJ, but I think Nicky’s projection is the worst case scenario—even if the Pats lose to Miami and NYJ, I still don’t see them losing to not the San Diego Chargers. On the other hand, if things go to hell and the Pats do much worse and end up tanking, it’ll be because Stidham is terrible and Belichik is forced to actually actively sign or draft a quarterback (trade up for Lawrencce, take a shot on Colin Kaepernick or Jameis Winston {the latter would need to be via trade}, or just have Belichik and Hoyer drive to my home and light me on fire. Whatever works, you know?]
Buffalo Bills: 11-5
I’m not sure why I am inclined to say this, but here I go: I absolutely love the Buffalo Bills and am one of the biggest Sean McDermmot fans. Maybe it’s because the fanbase is freaking awesome, maybe it’s because of the way their roster is built, or maybe it’s because they have one of my favorite former Packers in Micah Hyde—I’m not really sure where my love stems from, but here we are. These factors are all factors leading to why I love them, but truthfully, they are my favorite to win the AFC East. If they do, it’ll be Buffalo’s first division title since 1995—before I was born [Editor’s Note: That was so long ago it’s even before I was born. And I’m ancient.].
Breakdown:
In 2017, the Bills only lost by seven points to the Jacksonville Jaguars in the Wild Card round and were a few plays away from advancing. The offense looked putrid, but the defense was dominant. In 2019, Buffalo lost by only three points in overtime to the Houston Texans in the Wild Card round and they had that game wrapped up—until they didn’t. A miraculous DeShaun Watson spin out and 30+ yard reception set up the game winning field goal for Houston. This year, I think the Bills actually do it and win a playoff game. They will have a home playoff game for the first time in what seems like centuries and I am already nervous thinking about what the fans will be doing in the parking lot before that game. I’m talking playoffs before the schedule breakdown? Playoffs?!?! Before the playoffs, you need to play and win in the regular season. The Bills have a tough schedule and the games I have them losing, they should win, but the games I have them winning, they should lose. Let me explain: Buffalo’s biggest games come in Week 5 when they travel to Tennessee to face Derrick Henry and the Titans, Week 6 when they play host to the Chiefs, Week 9 when the Seahawks come to the city of wings, and Week 13 when the Bills travel cross-country to face the defending NFC conference champions in San Francisco. Somehow, someway, I have the Bills winning all of those games—I’m going with my gut on those tough games. On the other hand, I also have Buffalo falling to the Jets, the Phins, and the Cardinals, who are all awful. Then again, keep in mind that in my 20 years of life, I have learned that whenever I have a bold prediction, I am way off, so expect the Bills to finish something around 3-13 [Editor’s Note: PATRIOTS GOING 19-0 LET’S GO.].
Surprise Game:
The Bills have a lot of surprise games on this tough schedule. I’m definitely a little ambitious and giving them a lot of wins in games that most people wouldn’t expect them to win. The biggest surprise win though comes in Week 6 when the defending Super Bowl Champions come into the table smashing city. Josh Norman, Jordan Poyer, Micah Hyde, and Tre’Davious White are going to be a problem for Mahomes and his crew resulting in one of the Bills best wins in a long time.
Miami Dolphins: 5-11
The selection of Tua Tagovailoa—I’ll never spell that name correctly without looking it up on Google [Editor’s Note: This newsletter is not sponsored by Google or Alphabet. We also support Bing in this house. Bing it, b—h.]—was the best fit for the Dolphins and if they play their cards right, they will have their franchise quarterback that they have so desperately looked for since Dan Marino retired five centuries ago. Tannehill was great, but he wasn’t what the Phins had hoped for. I am a big fan of head coach Brian Flores and he has me bought into what the Dolphins are planning for ahead of the 2020 season.
Breakdown:
The Dolphins and their fans have lots to look forward to. 2020 could be one of those wacky seasons where if a few things went their way, they would finish 8-8 or 9-7, but those few things will actually go against them and cause them to finish with that 5-11 record. The Phins actually start the season off hot and by Week 3 they have a winning record, and then the L train leaves the station. They proceed to lose five of their next seven and get to their bye week with an overall record of 4-6, which actually isn’t terrible considering where the Dolphins sat two years ago with their roster. Many considered them a lost cause and gave them no chance for a rebuild anytime soon, but somehow, in my eyes, they are a team with one of the brightest futures. They still hold two first round selections in the 2021 NFL Draft, and their 5-11 record should put them in the top 10. Hell, Houston is a DeShaun Watson injury away from giving Miami another top 10 selection. 5-11 is nothing to write home about, but it’s a season of improvement and hope.
Surprise Game:
Miami was already mentioned with New England’s surprise game, so I have to choose another. In Week 7 against the Los Angeles Chargers. The Dolphins have some excellent defensive personnel and they will be on display to cause Tyrod Taylor or Justin Herbert problems. That, plus a little bit of Fitzmagic, and the Dolphins will find themselves with a nice win—assuming Ryan Fitzpatrick is the starter.
New York Jets: 5-11
Sorry Jets fans, but I’m just not excited to write about them. I think it’s because I’m from Jersey, and although I am primarily surrounded by Giant fans, I guess I am just sick of the Jets. They don’t have offensive weapons and their defense is very average, as I mentioned earlier, I just feel “meh” with them. This will be a big year for Sam Darnold and his development, and I believe he’ll take a necessary step in the right direction, but I also believe he’ll be playing for a new head coach when 2021 rolls around.
Breakdown:
The Jets actually have a very tough schedule and it would be in their best interest to lose, a lot. The Jets have nothing special going on in East Rutherford and they need a quick fix. They’ve made some decent moves this offseason, but I really did enjoy the draft they had. I was expecting a classic Jet mess up, but they nailed draft weekend, especially in rounds one and two. One more season of losing and you could add more talent around Sam Darnold that includes more protection or more weapons. There is no way Jamal Adams suits up in a Jets uniform in the 2021 season, meaning they need to trade him, and soon. The packages they could receive for the Pro Bowler would be unmatched and one that could set the Jets up with a bright future. New York also needs to heavily consider moving on from Le’Veon Bell and his lucrative contract. He’s only played one season with the Jets, and it should only get to as far as two. That deal wasn’t a good idea in the first place, and it’s time for the Jets to realize they made a mistake. So NYJ doesn’t have a roster that should get anyone excited, yet—but who knows: With a few good moves and right decisions, they actually could field a good team since their run to the AFC Championship in the 2010 season (was that team even good?). [Editor’s Note: It wasn’t.] With a decent future and not-so-ready roster, the Jets start the season off as they are accustomed to: with three straight losses. These matchups come against tough opponents and things don’t get easier from there. Even though I’ve given the Jets a lot of crap, if their schedule was lighter, I would probably have them at 8-8. In the end, their longest win streak is only two games, and there aren't too many exciting things to write about when it comes to the schedule. A lot of losses are impending for New York, which will lead to lots of changes, but that won’t be a bad thing at all.
Surprise Game:
The Jets surprise game comes in Week 4 when the Denver Broncos come to Metlife Stadium. Denver is a team that I can’t read—that’s a story for another edition—but that’s why I have the Jets stealing a win from Drew Lock. The combination of Le’Veon Bell making defenders miss and Jamal Adams covering the majority of the field, I have the Jets winning this one.
Nicholas Stanziale is a student at Marist College and a prospective broadcaster and journalist. He lives and dies by sports, especially by how the Green Bay Packers, New York Yankees, New Jersey Devils, and Villanova Basketball are doing.
NHL Offseason Preview: I Don’t Know How The Tampa Bay Lightning Are Getting Out of This
By Jack Goldman
[Editor’s note: To check out every offseason preview we’ve done so far, click here.]
Listen I want to be clear: This is an exercise in futility.
What do I mean by this? The newsletter entirely? This offseason prediction series?
Perhaps. But I’m talking about the goddamn Tampa Bay Lightning predictions.
What’s going to happen here is somehow every single player but one, despite the fact that they have only $5 million in cap space and many potential departures. But I’m not an all-knowing superpower, so I don’t know how Tampa is going to somehow convince their prospects to take 10 percent of their market value, but they will.
Instead, I’m just going to use the market value determined by the Evolving Hockey projections (become a Patron they deserve it!) and hope for the best (there are two exceptions on defense and one at forward that I’ll note). I’m still assuming a flat cap for next year ($81.5 million). I’m going to do a compliance buyout section as well because even though they’re highly unlikely to be brought back by the NHL at this point, they’re fun and we’ve already done a bunch of them so why not complete the project.
The irony of going from the Senators (the last team covered in this series by Shea), who basically had no team and maximum cap space to the Lightning who have two teams worth of talented players (or at least forwards) and almost zero cap space is not lost on me.
Lightning
Current total allocation: $76M ($5M/player)
Total spots to fill: 10 (!!!) ($5.3M remaining)
Most certain: Goaltender
Current allocation: $10.8M ($5.4M/player)
Spots to fill: 0
I can’t believe I’m saying this but...despite the fact that the Lightning have an A+ starting goaltender in Andrew Vasilevsky and a cheap and effective backup in Curtis McElhenny, there’s going to be changes in goal: Tampa can’t afford McElhenny at $1.3 million. We’ll get to why in a minute, trust me, I’m furious about it.
I say that Edmonton swings in and pays essentially nothing for Mac, leaving BrisBois looking at a shoddy cheap backup goaltender market to fill the gap. I say Tampa brings Louis Domingue (who was terrible last year) back at as little money as possible and pray Vasilevsky stays healthy and plays 75 games (not a good idea, but we’ll get to why this needs to happen).
Medium certainty: Defense
Current allocation: $16.3M ($5.4M/player)
Spots to fill: 4
Oh my goodness okay so look, the problem here is that although Victor Hedman and Ryan McDonagh are world beating and excellent players, respectively, but the problem is that the Lightning have no cap space and we need to fill four slots, and the only other defenseman on the roster is washed up Braydon Coburn. Coming off the books are Kevin Shattenkirk (huge loss, there’s no way Tampa can replace him unless the mafia genuinely show up and force the man at gunpoint to sign at his current number of $1.75 million (how on Earth is he paid that little holy crap). I think Zach Bogosian, and Luke Schenn.
The cap crunch is so bad that I think the Lightning have to salary dump Coburn at the cost of some draft capital. CapFriendly says Coburn has a no-trade clause but I can’t find the information on it, meaning I’m going to assume it’s only a partial one because if I don’t Tampa has to dump Bradyen Point (not happening). I have Coburn going to Montreal to serve as a veteran presence up north since they love their veteran, washed up defensemen over there—plus they’ll get to move up a round in the draft, which will be the more important aspect for the Canadiens.
A normal team would be able to flip McDonagh at his number for a similarly expensive, theoretically right-handed defenseman. Don’t worry though: The Lightning made their first huge mistake we’ve come across right here, giving McDonagh a no-trade clause, I assume to keep his cap number down. Guess what they should’ve done?
SIGNED SOMEBODY ELSE THEY COULD’VE AFFORDED.
McDonagh’s presence on this team, though valuable, is almost unnecessary in my opinion. He’s a number one, non-Norris contending left-handed defenseman. Guess what? Tampa already has an actual, bona-fide number one left-handed defenseman who’s a Norris winner and frequent contender for the award in Victor Hedman, who’s only paid $1 million more than McDonagh.
This is, and I cannot emphasize this enough, cap mismanagement and using your “Tampa Bay is the Mafia” leverage for no good reason. They could’ve found somebody who could give them McDonagh’s production at a lower number and in a more useful spot for sure given how effective Tampa is at bringing in defenseman. How do I know?
KEVIN SHATTENKIRK IS ON THE TEAM RIGHT NOW. His Evolving Hockey cap number is less than McDonagh’s, and the Lightning need a number one right-handed defenseman much more than an expensive second pair left-handed guy.
So instead, I have Tampa bringing back Erik Cernak to be their number one right-handed defensemen (yuck) and then signing Korbinian Holzer and Michael Stone at the minimum and below Evolving Hockey’s valuation (getting veterans to sign for nothing is a Lightning specialty).
So their defense is sure to take a massive hit, which absolutely could’ve been avoided if the front office wasn’t so short sighted when they sign middling guys to contracts—if there’s a no-trade clause involved, it’s a bad idea that could cost you players like Point, Vasilevsky, Kucherov, or Stamkos.
The Lightning front office gets, deservedly, plenty of plaudits for putting together one of the more talented teams of this decade, but their mistakes could allow teams like Boston and Toronto to jump over them in the standings for good beginning next year.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s wade through the forward mess.
Least Certain: Forward
Current allocation: $49M ($4.9M/player)
Spots to fill: 3
Yeah, this seems pretty manageable at three spots to fill, right?
Well, you’re wrong because Sergachev’s contract alone takes the Lightning over the cap and Cernak’s contract on top of it makes matters even worse. In order to make the salaries fit, that’s why McElhinney had to go (saving $600,000, which seems small in the scheme of things, but based on the cap space number you’re going to see in a minute is absolutely critical), and it’s why two other trades need to happen.
The first one I’d argue probably shouldn’t happen, despite the fact that it will. Alex Killorn, despite the fact that I don’t like watching him play and don’t think he’s anything special, is probably the best current player of the trio of him, Tyler Johnson, and Ondrej Palat, but Killorn is going to get sent away because he has a modified no trade clause whereas Johnson and Palat (who are paid more and would provide more critical salary relief) are fully protected until next year, when if I was Tampa management I would absolutely hit the plunger on those two being members of the team despite their value.
The good news is Killorn will absolutely bring back a mid-range first round pick, I have Arizona pulling the trigger on a deal to bring Killorn in for a needed scoring boost—I’m certain multiple other teams would want to get in the mix as well that aren’t on Killorn’s trade list if Arizona is.
The last trade sees Cedric Paquette get moved to Colorado to give the Avalanche cheap forward depth at relatively low cost for a year. If the Tampa saw and found value in Paquette as a third/fourth liner for them these past few years, Colorado will too, and they’ll get to move up a round in the draft as well.
But there’s one more problem because of course there is: Evolving Hockey has borderline 50 points per year player Anthony Cirelli projected at a $5.8 million cap number. They think the Lightning are going to find a way to bring him back, but I don’t feel nearly as confident because at this point, the Lightning only have around $3 million in space left to work with and five slots to fill. I would be that Tampa gets an asset back for Cirelli when they trade his restricted free agency rights to a team, but I don’t know which teams will be interested, such a move isn’t workable in CapFriendly as far as I can tell, and it’s essentially going to look like they got some minuscule draft pick compensation for another team signing their restricted free agent to an offer sheet without either the Lightning or whichever team brings Cirelli in (Detroit? Arizona? Maybe Edmonton or Calgary? There’s a lot of options.) going through the paperwork and bad-faith negotiating rigamarole.
So Cirelli will join the departures, and finally Tampa will be able to afford to fill out its roster without going over the cap (barely).
Given those moves, the Lightning will be able to afford Sergachev, Cernak, Domingue, Holzer, Stone, and five forwards: I have Tampa opting to bring Patrick Maroon back at the same number they brought him in for this year, Tom Kuhnackl at around the minimum, and Mitchell Stephens and Alexander Volkoff in restricted free agency at low numbers. It’s a markedly worse team from this year’s edition.
Compliance Buyout Prediction: Ryan McDonagh
Tampa’s buyout decision is actually a good example of why NHL teams don’t want to bring compliance buyouts back: McDonagh, a good player who I don’t think fits the Lightning’s current roster iteration given his salary, if bought out, would be on Tampa’s salary books until 2031-32 (not a typo), according to CapFriendly. That would be $27.5 million in cap savings off Tampa’s cap books, but it’s also nearly $25 million in raw salary existing outside the NHL salary cap structure. That’s not the sort of move the NHL seems to be interested in, given the lack of visibility on the financial future of the league (thanks, coronavirus). But, if the LIghtning did make the move, the immediate effect would be that Shattenkirk can return, they might be able to keep Cernak, and would be able to sign an incredibly cheap left-handed third pair defensemen, which are easier to find than righties, and pick one of Stone and Holzer to join the team instead of both. It’s a markedly better and more balanced defense corps in that theoretical iteration than the one I’m proposing here.
CapFriendly Prediction: $61,243,166 … $11,067 in space ... https://www.capfriendly.com/armchair-gm/team/1760983
Big picture:
I mean, this is insanity. I don’t think we’re going to come any closer in space than this Lightning preview. I doubt there’ll be another team with more trades, and very few will have more signings, and none will see as much value walk out the door thanks to the Shattenkirk, Cirelli, Killorn, Paquette, and McElhenny departures. I think there’s an alternate, no no-trade clause iteration of Tampa Bay that’s absolutely able to keep both of those players—Cirelli is better than Palat and maybe better than Johnson. He’s almost as valuable as Killorn now and significantly younger. I don’t think, especially because the Lightning never won the cup this past decade as Tom wrote about, that the contracts handed out are worth it considering how much they’re going to cost the present version of Tampa. That’s on some combination of Yzerman, BrisBois, Jon Cooper, and perhaps Lightning owner Jeff Vinik as well. I think this is really bad news and is going to trigger a three year reload in Florida that didn’t need to happen and never brought the Lightning a cup—management better pray they can get past Boston, Toronto, and one of St. Louis or Colorado in the behind closed doors playoffs, whenever they start, because this is the last time Tampa Bay is going to have a shot to return the Stanley Cup to the south for a few years.
Jack Goldman is the publisher and editor of the newsletter you just finished reading. He’s also an independent reporter who goes to Boston College in his spare time, apparently. You shouldn’t follow him on Twitter @the_manofgold.